Save your Pity!

Today is a beautiful, sunny, 70 degree day. It's the kind of day that makes you want to do everything outside . . . walk, sit, eat, cook, do homework, I even tried to think of a way to fold the laundry outside, but decided that wasn't feasible despite the perfectness of the day. Anyway, moving on to the point.

It is such a beautiful day that I actually parked a block away from preschool just to enjoy a little walk in the sunshine with the boys. So I packed Noah into the front carrier and settled Jeffrey on my hip and grabbed Nathan by the hand and we were blissfully sauntering towards preschool keeping a close eye out for birds and flowers and all signs of spring when we met up with one of my friends who was walking back to her car with her son. And she just blurted out that every time she sees me "carting" (her word, not mine) all three boys she just feels so sorry for me. I was so surprised to hear her say that--up to that point we'd been having a great time and just enjoying the sunshine and each other's company. I really didn't know how to answer her. So I just mumbled something about how we were doing ok, and then we wished each other a happy mother's day and moved on. But that statement has really been bugging me this afternoon.

And now, I want to take the opportunity to respond to her absurd statement and all other similar and equally stupid statements. Don't get me wrong-- I consider her a friend and really do like her, and am sure she wasn't saying it to bug me, but rather to sympathize, just like all the other well-meaning people who look at me with pity and have such sympathy for this poor stupid woman--which is why I am responding on my blog (which she doesn't read) instead of in person.

I am not in need of sympathy.

Last night I went to a foster care/adoption class and I sat directly across the circle of desks from two childless women. These women have spent years of their adult lives desperately trying to have children, they've tried fertility treatments as well as traditional adoption avenues and they are still heartbreakingly childless. They both want a child so badly and as yet have been unable to beg, borrow, or steal one, so they are trying the fost-adopt program. And here I am with 4 BEAUTIFUL, HEALTHY, WONDERFUL children of my own AND a foster son who I am really hoping we will be able to take into our family permanently. I am SO lucky!!

But, everyone feels so sorry for me, like I'm some poor stupid woman who got these children just dumped in her lap and is now coping as well as she can despite the dreadfulness of the whole situation. It's giving me a complex. I get so many comments about having my hands full, and how hard it is, and how worn out I must be, and how much work kids are, and on and on and on. --I CHOSE to have these kids. I wanted them . . . and I STILL want them. I've got to tell you, I thought I was handling it all pretty well, and mostly having a good time doing it. But, all these comments are making me wonder.

I have to admit, there have been days when I've sat down and had a pity party for myself about how hard it is and poor, poor me . . . I don't get paid enough for this . . . life is rough . . . I'm so tired . . . etc. But I remember feeling that way when I only had one kid, or two kids . . . life with any number of children can be hard sometimes and there are some rough days. But not all days are rough . . . in fact most days are really fun and wonderful.

Life is good and my kids are great! And we have so much fun. So, to my friend and all those other poor saps who just don't get it, and probably won't get it no matter how much I try to explain. I'm finished apologising. I have five kids under the age of 7 and I wouldn't change that fact for the world. So save your sympathy and your pittying glances for someone else. I could really live without them.

And for anyone else who is reading this blog, my advice is: go kiss your kids, play outside and enjoy the sunshine, and remember how lucky you are to know what's really important in life. I know I'm going to!! ;-)

Easter 2010

Ok, I know Easter was months ago and I'm really just getting around to posting some pictures of it . . . SAD. But, better late than never!

Here we are getting ready to go outside and hunt Easter Eggs!! Even Jeffrey had a basket (although he wasn't too interested in hunting eggs, he was much more excited about playing with our own personal Easter bunny)!!

READY, SET, HUNT!

Here are the Easter baskets after they were all prepared . . . ALL SEVEN OF THEM!! I know this will probably sound pretty goofy, but this is when it really hit me how many people are in our family now. Up to this point I had thought of the family as parts of the whole . . . five kids, two parents, three kids, two babies, two girls, three boys etc. etc. etc. But, the night before Easter I was prepping the baskets and I kept thinking I had enough but I kept having to get out just one more basket, then just one more basket, until finally I had SEVEN baskets and it just blew me away! There are seven people in our family now. It makes for a pretty full kitchen table!

Here are some pics of the kids digging into their baskets and showing off their favorite parts!

Just a note: Lindsay's arm wasn't actually broken, she dislocated her elbow (falling of the monkey bars AGAIN) and had to have it immobilized in a cast for a week.